i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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