Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
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