I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Only a mothe r could love this liver
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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