epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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