If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
