Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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