if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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