Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
