Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
there was a trapeze. enough said
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
