we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
