I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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