Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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