how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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