it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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