i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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