we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
