How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
