Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
