Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Randomize
