you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
