So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize