I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize