Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Four minutes until I can fart!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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