Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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