I'll bet she douches with gravy.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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