I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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