Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
