I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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