I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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