You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
