But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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