She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
