Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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