I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
