3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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