so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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