Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
