that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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