there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
