Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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