Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
