No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
