after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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