Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Randomize