hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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