I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
