i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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