You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
