I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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