yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
