Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
