I bet he comes in French.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
