we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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