Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
