When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Randomize
