I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
