i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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