and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
